Who in the hell likes seeing a picture of themselves a decade ago? Either things are better now and you shudder at the monstrous instantiation of your past self, or things are worse now and you’re left staring hungrily as a visualization of better days.

“Without fail, I’m delighted when Facebook resurfaces a picture I posted a decade ago of friends”

Ohhhhhhhhhh. So you’re the sole person that feature was made for. The secret is outa t last!

It is!

If it wasn’t for the ‘they didn’t want to come back’ slaughter of all the non-Ripley characters from Aliens 2 in the opening of the film - if it was meaningfully more of a standalone - I think Aliens 3 is a perfectly decent film.

This feels less like “damning with faint praise” than “faint damning.”

“Sometimes, Star Wars becomes its own tiny ouroboros, gorging on its past instead of doing something new.”

Sometimes? This has been Star Wars major sin for decades - a downright baffling obsession with making an entire universe as small, inbred, and claustrophobic has possible, so that no one ever has to experience the…

Although in that case it will be because the giant mutant mosquitos are now just eating us and our graphene clothing whole.

Am I really the only on here completely underwhelmed? That... ‘trailer bwamp’ straight-edged shoot-em-up edit of nothing?

No reflection on the movie, which might be great or terrible - no, that was just a flat and staid trailer.

In a non-stop list of crushing and depressing things, this - “which players can only access through their smartphones” - is probably the worst.

Reading this list is one of those things that makes you go ‘hey, does anyone at the company actually play video games? Or even just this game? Once? Ever?” because you’re left…

The subreddit, which has been aware of the game’s issues so many issues dear god the game is basically just issues Christ for our sins.

What I take away from this is that I hate that the original character’s personality is replaced with the blank stare of giant glassy eyeballs, and the normal posture of the male character is replaced by WACKY POSES!

Good.

Kids shouldn’t be drinking caffeine. Nobody should, but it gets the same bullshit pass we give to alcohol of ‘well not literally every person becomes an addict so therefore there’s no reason to treat it as anything other than benign and socially acceptable something something social lubricant.’

After getting into WWE a few years ago I gave up on it pretty quickly for a variety of reasons. One was the sterility, as noted above, another the incessant -incessant -advertising shoved into every second of commentary: buy the app, but the video game, buy the next fifty pay-per-views right now instead of watching…

And it’s a really fantastic climb.

God there’s nothing I’d hate more than Gormenghast getting the Game of Thrones treatment. It is not epic fantasy in the slightest, and nor is it sexy. It’s a great work of literature, but it is to Game of Thrones as 2001 a Space Odyssey is to the Honor Harrington books: yes, they’re the same genre, but there are very f…

Loot Crate was once the go-to company for monthly shipments of geek and gamer gear moving surplus “nerd”-themed garbage that was gumming-up a warehouse somewhere. It turned out that even the hollowed-out souls of the damned that are the Funko-Pop demographic have an upper limit to indiscriminate purchasing, but…

Target went bankrupt in my country and folded, so going there is not normal behaviour, locally-speaking.

You’re trying to be snide but I’ve got nothing to hide - my ‘expertise’ is shaped only every media outlet on the planet telling me Fallout 76 was an enormous flop to the point where I just took it as a given it’s servers wouldn’t still be up after six months.

So I am genuinely - genuinely - surprised to hear this has…

Your belief that I like Discovery is deeply offensive.

I had to think real long and hard about his so-called ‘role’ in Guardians of the Galaxy.

I loved how they brought him back for Captain Marvel, where he also got to do absolutely nothing. Captain Marvel’s narrative crimes in a nutshell, really,