Hey good thing that ball wainwright above that bird.

Always tryna get at that 2nd Amendment.

The fuck would I be doing in New Jersey?

I swear I’ve actually done three of those, although two of them are really just the same janitorial job.

I bet every time they bring out the contract, Von sneaks around and pokes it out of their hands.

Any time the coach or parent yelled out “Just like in batting practice,” it was time to take a few steps toward the plate. If batting practice was the kid’s only moment of competence, you knew he had to suck.

Because playing on the Lions is, metaphorically speaking, the same thing.

I’ve accidentally shot myself in a strip club before but I just went to the bathroom and cleaned up a bit.

O god, that area is a cluster fuck at the best of times. For a 7 PM game on a work night it is going to take years to get there.

Cobb County’s non-namesake, Ty, would be proud of the last sentence.

Spoken like a true Cobb County resident.

I seriously haven’t seen anything this shameful since the Braves posted their lineup card yesterday.

As a resident of Atlanta and Braves fan... I’m ashamed of the team, I’m ashamed of ownership, and I am not excited at all about this new stadium. Being a sports fan can really suck (especially in Atlanta) but it really hurts when you just feel *bad* about supporting your team. When you don’t even *want* to support…

Can’t wait to not be able to take public transit and brave the busiest interchange in the south and not find parking to overpay to see one of the most dismal teams in MLB history while sitting next to a bunch of old money assholes with funny sounding voices. But at least I won’t have to see black people out the window…

“Whaddaya mean, ‘SunTrust Park doesn’t count’? It’s got ‘park’ right there in the name!”
-Cobb County commissioners

Just let all the rec-league softball teams that used to use the parks, play instead at the new stadium. Braves fans would appreciate the upgrade in the quality of play actually.

The last thing the Boise State football program needed was for one of its players to stirrup trouble. They should really bring the hammer down on him.

Pretty sick burn by the Braves to replace the Cuban defector’s roster spot with a dude named Castro.

At last, video evidence that 2:24 is faster than 2:26.