Jalopnik should sue, because its readers have apparently demonstrated prior use of “torques” which is, linguistically, identical (see Lexis-Nexis vs Lexus).

that’s not wide hips.

Wait a minute:

And they’re not professionals.

you misspelled “penis”

Word. That thing looks like a ten dollar piece of electronics at a Manhattan store. For example:

...who can’t afford it, and who post on obscure internet blogs about how they’ll buy it used in 10 years.

Nobody, because the professional would be way past F&F/boy racer/ugly cladding like that.

Shouldn’t this headline be “How Never To Attract The Opposite Sex”?

exactly. This makes me think of Bill Hicks talking about Jay Leno shilling for Doritos:

Car Talk did this as a puzzler years back, only it wasn’t a bike, it was a Land Rover or similar.

He thinks this will get him laid.

Isn’t this just drifting, but in place?

now now, we’re not talking about the stock Golf grocery getter here.

an aggressive overhaul strategy for its car dealers to make them into actual premium luxury stores and not slightly nicer Chevrolet lots.

Word.

“280tq”?

And look at the styling compared to the Mazda 3. They riced the hell out of it with crap body add-ons that even Pontiac engineers wince at.

Please don’t ever be a parent.