Aw, you got me. Eddie didn’t “kick my ass,” he just roughed me and pushed me down.

This is why you don’t use cursive when you vandalize. 

True story: When I was in 6th grade, I had an arch nemesis named Macalister.

See? This is why the Bills don’t bother winning the Super Bowl. Less jewelry to hand out. Less drama.

Wasnt everybody doing that in 2002? I mean with 9/11 and everything....?

JR would be so far up in the clouds, no one would be able to touch him.

You should. Wendy’s twitter account is actually pretty funny

That is a pretty frightening thought process.

Crazy question. What if he’s the one telling the truth and her, “I dont want to deal with the stress’s of the trial” was just an excuse because she knew she was in the wrong?

Who gives a rat’s fart about the identity of Kylie’s baby daddy? I mean, adorable baby, but if she says it’s was sired by Travis Scott—fine.

Nah Perk is one dude in the league who has a bonafide reputation of not to be fucked with. 95% of his NBA career existing is because of this reputation. It’s the last remaining vestige of the “back In my day...” nostalgia that NBA old heads love to brag about. Because some people still believe this is a valuable asset…

Was one of his charges destroying the police’s evidence cameras?

No shit, came to say the same thing. Looks like the pictures were taken with a Motorola Razer then printed off of Microsoft paint using an inkjet printer, after you zoomed in and out on the image about 10 times.

The heckler appears to have been going after Harden throughout the game...

He just hit MY phone!

I had no idea a grown man’s voice could sound like that.

Hey, cool, this guy showed up to let everyone know how to alcohol right.

Ginger Beer is no less a basic ingredient than Coca-Cola.

Ketchup+Vodka. Right?