"That's the thing you have to remember about professional sports. Whenever a team wins the title, you know who always gets to hold the trophy first? THE OWNER."

I'm just shocked he was able to hit a target.

With her relationship, and cushy lifestyle, deteriorating she's going back to her career as a welder.

Stats so far:

Separation of church and state

What the hell is "The Concourse" and why are all the Fun Bags relegated to it? Is this some sort of Kinja BS to make sure I miss all the decent Deadspin material?

So I should open up all my apps and my phone will never need charging again!

I think many of these are a bit far fetched even for a Duck Dynasty episode.

Thanks Andy. (Excuse the silly Avatar as I mainly post over at Deadspin)

I'm addicted to these and the How I Work series. How about a compilation eBook or printed book of both?

He's 3rd on the Jaguars depth chart at RB

Lips on that mask are perfect for the kissing Crosby's ass.

Somebody didn't read his Welcome to the ACC packet or he would have known that Duke gets all the calls at home.

You can switch out Barenaked Ladies with Tragically Hip.

$10 for a fart.

Explains where he got the pink eye.

I love these posts, so a full week of them has been awesome.

Ever not gift out a gift bag? The parents get as pissed off as the kids do.

Pretty much sums up my experience with phone sex lines back in the 90s.

I'd pay $50/hr to see some cheerleader girl on girl in the stadium bathroom.