I'm due in January and I swear to you I just wrote Simone on my handwritten baby name list maybe 10 minutes ago.

THANK YOU. I swear I will squirt some asshole in the eye with breastmilk if he (I'm assuming it'd be a man, this has never actually happened to me) tried to come at me with a problem.

lol lol lol

print them out and mail them to people

she was not BORN vegetarian, she was RAISED vegetarian. Not liking the way something tastes doesn't make it unhealthy.

AGRAPALOOZA

oh my god I laughed so hard

Homeboy forgot it isn't 1953.

I was really, really surprised to see this happened in Kentucky.

YOOOOO

That one was the worst. It causes me physical pain.


“I love my mom more than my dad"

I love you, Julian and family!!! I also made it the entire workday without crying, a real feat for me, and just read this with 3 minutes to go. So there goes my record

He produced the music, so...

I'm fuckin PUMPED

I LOLed

yes.

My eye started twitching when I read the part about how you could drop it and just wipe it off.

oh man I love your mom.

oh my god the whooping klaxon made me laugh so hard but yeah same here

I was just telling my boyfriend that I'm starting to fear one day we will be sitting in Canada and telling our kids about how we were part of the failed experiment known as America. It would be funnier if it weren't so scary.