No but I DID have purple velvet "jeans" from The Gap

“someone told me that being on a terrible reality tv show isn't a qualification for political office"

I REALLY feel like a weirdo when I'm doing my own makeup and pretending to MAKE a youtube video.

fellow youtube makeup weirdo follower over here!

never, ever say that again.

I am ACTUALLY laughing my ass off. In a cubicle.

only sometimes

only sometimes

and fragile, somehow. Ballerinas are delicate so you're not allowed to be mad at them for plagiarizing.

I'd consider that photo pretty damn important, heyooooo

I hope so

Hey, whatever works!

she really seems like a great, cool ass, well spoken lady. I loved that.

her team of "writers" and "aides" taking notes

Lol!! Is he from the South??

my toddler doesnt watch spongebob because all the characters have noses that look like dicks. and the sound of the entire show makes me twitchy and angry.

LOL!! Is he from the south?

Shit Newty's Mom Says

the year he ran for president my dad carved his face into our pumpkin. With the words “pumpkin head Newt”. I was maaaaybe 10 and had no clue what it meant, I just thought maybe my dad thought this dude was really ugly or something.

I'm still gagging. His first name is Newton. That's not awful. WHY would you allow people to call you fucking Newt?? Don't get me started on Newty.