Bey didn’t almost fall - gravity momentarily forgot who it was fuckng with.

LET ME AT EM.

Tell me where the portal to lost socks and Chapstick is. I have some business to take care of.

This shit right here is why I’m voting for whoever the fuck gets the Democratic nomination. There is too much at stake for this hyperbole that Hillary is just another republican. Tell that to my uterus assholes.

I would totally reply to a message from a profile like this. So much better than “I don’t like filling these things out so just message me if you want to know more.”

“For the first 35 years of my life, I was a Leo, and then they decided that July 23rd was really in Cancer instead of Leo.”

Yeah, you’re right, but he used Zowie as his name when growing up, so a generation will know him as Zowie. Both you and the guy arguing against you need to chill the fuck out. I’m sure Duncan does not give a shit about this right now.

Resentful child syndrome isn't a thing.

That's one badass assistant principal.

I don’t understand how BS has fooled so many people after we’ve seen the 7 years of President Obama’s battle with congress. It is literal foolishness and folly to believe that we will get single-payer healthcare within the next two years AT LEAST, especially with an anti-Wall Street candidate in a climate that fosters…

Haven't we all?

You can’t give it two thumbs up or down, because you don’t have thumbs.

I think I’ll enjoy it either way.

Thank you. Almost nobody brings up the lack of representation of Bears at the Academy awards. Did you know that, as it stands, there have been over 1700 acting nominations in the history of the awards and only 23 have gone to Bears(Meryl Streep, Claude Rains).

I can’t believe it finally happened! I bet they’re over the moon.

It’s her! She’s pregnant!

Am I old? Who are these people?

Jezebel, you need to stop posting Steven Avery stories so I can actually get some work done at work instead of just reading endless comment sections.

I CAN'T HEAR YOU THROUGH THE SOUND OF ME GOBBLING DOWN ALL THESE NOTHING BURGERS.