I'm holding out for Speed on a Guitar. Starring Steve Vai as the guitarist who has to play faster than his own fastest solo or else his wireless stage pickup explodes. For 120 minutes straight. 

It gets the butts in the seats, and the dicks in the popcorn!

Ooh, a head bag!

She's a lot hotter than Lovelace was.
And I'm OK with this.
Wonder how much skin gets shown in the pic though.

There's always the alternative of becoming one of these guys.

Looks like the liquor cabinet is locked again, kiddies.
Fortunately for those of us who fear change, there's always the exciting world of back-alley abortions and drugs!

I gotta agree with @Mythagoras:twitter 
… Kipling's Jungle Book doesn't really have any racism, coded or uncoded (I read it again recently, so this isn't just a sunny childhood memory of it). If anything, it's kind of pro-animal "society" and anti-human society, in that it makes the Jungle Law out to be sort of an…

Yeah, the Disney film is pretty good on its own merits. I have my doubts about any movie ever being able to capture what makes the Kipling original good, though.

Wow, if this is the real Jesse Thorn, I have to respond! Especially since I really enjoy the Judge John Hodgman podcast.

Um…. one of those rings is a skull. Just wanted to point that out.

Note to Chloe: Fill flash is not your friend.
Second note to Chloe: Avoid … what… what the fuck is this shirt design? 1000 Homer Simpson heads in various degrees of decomposition?

First Scientology, now the Muppets.
Is there no American entertainment they find amusing??

Or a brontosaurus steps on your stomach.

Great Grape Ape!

Counting Crows?
I only got as far as one, myself.

Hmmm… that's exactly what a zombie-hologram-reanimator-mad-scientist would want us to think, "Doctor."

Law And Order: Boner Police Unit

I get it! April fools two days late! 
And my response, 12 days late!

"I want that film shelved! And not just shelved, but canned, shut, sealed, seared, split, burned, scattered, and buried under a fucking rock! 
But we'll keep a copy on reserve just in case."

This just in: The Pitt Ring Quest Twelve have tapped a message on the inside wall of their collapsed mine. 
"Low on oxygen, I fear we are fading. but it's OK, worth it for Brad+Angie."