In that case, I also want to know if his friends call him Carny. And does he believe the Nats won the series?

*eyeroll*

No, Jered... I don’t really think he’s reading comments on this site. In fact, if I’m being completely honest, I typed out that entire post pretty much knowing that he will never see it. But— and this is really important— I think you might be the only person here who requires that this be explained. 

it’s fake news and I’m voting no

As an older male, identifying as single simply keeps all my married friends believing that my weekends are filled with the company of skinny and smart, penis-hungry divorcees anxious to spend their ex-husband’s money. Saying I’m self-partnered comes with the threat of revealing the reality that I stay at home smoking…

I’ve got some questions for The Melania Whisperer, maybe the Fox Friends can pick up the slack and have him back to ask:

1. When you were pregnant with his fifth child, and he was out raw-dogging porn stars, was this the moment you knew you’d be together forever?

2. Were there any other insecure American millionaires…

The the pale complexion, the red, parted lips, the bleached blonde hair, the vapid expression.

President’s Daughter... or Blow-Up Sex Doll?

Little-known fact: Kurt Suzuki was the pledge name given by Bluto to Delta House’s first Asian member.

I have zero doubt that this man came to Brooklyn by way of NE Philly / Lower Southampton.

No, you idiots. The theme is Witch Hunt, not Bitch Cunt.

Grifters gonna grift.

Track and field, swimming/diving, golf, tennis (college tourneys)...

The question I have is, Trump tweeted this photo out, when Pelosi took it and ran it as her banner. Why... would he do that? Over two weeks ago, he releases a transcript of a phone call he thinks exonerates him from the whistleblower’s allegations. It does the complete opposite. Now this, where he thinks he’s tweeting…

It’s a well-known fact that for every poor, parent-less or disenfranchised person-of-color who gets a hand lent to them, there are 11 offended white guys screaming to know why they didn’t get theirs. Just last week, a contractor I work with was upset that his former helper, a Mexican immigrant, now owns his own shop…

I’ll use any chance I get to post this:

I agree there’s good reason for him to drop out, but I want Bernie to stick around a little while longer, just so there’s another progressive voice on stage at the debate(s). It’s just him and Warren, a bunch of centrists and Yang. He knows he’s not going to win, he knows that we know he’ll eventually throw his…

I don’t know how you can provide that thorough of a review without mentioning that the seats are made from actual human skin.

Really surprised the Mercedes Splooge never made it to market.

1. Oliver
2. Wendall
3. Holmes, Jr.

“Grisham’s bad-luck error”

The Who