The hit parade of stupidity and ignorance, for your viewing pleasure:

Oh sure, it’s so easy to dumb on his wet-blanket personality, lack of charisma and ill-thought vocal farts... but only when you compare it to his stunning lack of empathy, vision and ideas.

Old people who pick up landline calls and answer surveys. If they were all at the mall walking, like they’re supposed to be, these numbers would be highly skewed.

Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick: if Jeb Bush and Rick Perry had a baby with Brit Hume.

there’s still plenty of time for candidates with little to no chance of winning to make a splash

“What about those of us who knew better? We who knew the words were lies, and worse than lies? Why did we sit silent? Why did we take part? Because we loved our country! What difference does it make if a few political extremists lose their rights? What difference does it make if a few racial minorities lose their…

“Mr. O’Rourke seemed to accept that music would become more passion than profession. He took writing workshops. He read Greek tragedies (“the Greeks got me, man”). He attended astronomy class with Ms. Watson, his girlfriend at the time, despite not being enrolled.

I know what I see above that face, above those narrowed eyes shielded by the brim. I know what Roy Halladay saw up there, too: a carousel pony ripping the pole out its spine to use as a weapon. 

The friend angle really gives this thing a Ted and Whoopi 1990's vibe.

I’m just saying, he gave that shithead ammunition. Like it or not, people go to that shithead website and read the shithead articles. And now Bernie gave those shitheads a chance to write something similar to what I posted, which is bad for Bernie. So, no man, I don’t how I’d handle it, to answer your question. But I…

Holy fuck, Jr has gone full-on Wayne Newton with that black shellac he’s adding to his whiskers. I guess the dye is to distract from the beard itself, which is meant to distract from the fact that there is nothing at all resembling a chin beneath it.

I’d like to point out also that music in the 80's was really, really bad.

There has never been a sitting president who failed to get re-elected during a war.

“Ooooh, NAWKdown!”
“Sweet”
“Nay nay”
A twelver of PBR on the ground.
The girls hardly react.
I think Gronk #2 takes a kick in the beans.

You cannot simultaneously be a man of the people... and shun the people.

Would you say that you are Not Sure?

I’ve never seen no plants grow out of no toilet!

Did any of the senators even bother to ask her if Brawndo is what plants crave?

He wants so badly to be Ann Coulter.

Splinter itself can falter Gawker for all I care.