I was minding my own business (being a drunk asshole) outside a club, when a cop (not a cop, a security guard) hand cuffed me...am I cool yet?!

Oh, chop off my toe! I’m going to give Rand Paul the spanking I can tell he has always wanted.

I do that every. single. night. The bf sounds like a goddamn sawmill.

I’m sure they’ll find this suggestion shocking, but maybe they could get jobs? By my count, there are 7 legal adults living in the home, and the youngest Duggar child is 5, an age when most children can start going to kindergarten.

Is that bitch coming for her money .....I am gutted that my fantasy couple is splitting but I wanted a I KNOW WE’RE COOL ENDING and not him coming at her cash

we could all give each other a margin for human error.

I’d wager the original title of his album was “Girl Overpowered” but his lawyers advised against it.

“And in those instances I do realize I’m an artist, that I’m flawed; and sometimes, you know, you don’t think. I was most certainly not thinking, not considering whom I might offend. And to those many people, however many or however few, I’d like to take this opportunity to apologize again.”

He is literally King Triton

In theory yes however the tie comes from if she didn’t commit suicide, how did she die? The prevailing theory is that she had a bad enough concussion/hematoma that she could have died from it if she went untreated.

So...you can be written up during your probationary period and still become a state trooper? Isn’t that what the probationary period is for- weeding out people who cannot conduct themselves in a professional way? He was written up for unprofessional conduct at a school, but someone passed him along.

I feel like there is something implied by telling Diana Ross that you named her granddaughter after a popular singer from the 60s and 70s... Mick Jagger.

80s team up movie about a Cop with nothing to lose, a Boxer one week from retirement, a Wildcard rogue soldier, and the best damn recruit out of West Point all joining forces to fight the one war they can’t win alone. Played by Jean Claude Van Damme, Carl Weathers, Steven Segal, and Bridgette Neilson.

Oh to be in the room when they told Diana the baby’s name

Just don’t read the comments on the Caitlyn Jenner article. So much bullshit crammed into only 8 comments. I am a tank, I took the agro and the damage so you don’t have to and this is how it left me.

i mean she only has 20 thingamabobs, so why risk losing any of them

Girl, you gotta keep those whoozits and whatsits in that aplenty status.

Just close your eyes when you sign it Tay and KEEP YOUR DAMN MONEY.

I do not believe for one second that Tay Tay isn’t into signing a pre-nup. That girl did not get to where she is without being smart and real business savvy (and yes I know she has good advisers, but she’s obviously good at this shit too).