I have a number of family members in AA. So I can't really drink much on Thanksgiving. So each year, I volunteer to barbecue a turkey on the grill as well as the turkey in the oven. This allows me to drink the beer in the cooler next to the grill.

"I'm a mixture of all the Brazilian animals. I was born out of the explosion of joy that happened when they announced that Rio would host the Olympic Games. Now, I shall swim into your penis and infect you with Olympic spirit!"

As a Phillies fan, this is huge news. The Red Sox open the 2015 season in Philadelphia. I have tickets for Opening Day. If the Red Sox sign both players, I should be able to get an extra 30 bucks for my tickets.

I have a mousepad that one of my Japanese friends gave me from the 2003 Hanshin Tigers. It features Hideki Irabu and Kei Igawa.

So now both the Sixers and their fans can shit the bed.

My sister-in-law is in AA. For all parties at my in-laws, there is no alcohol. And because there is no alcohol, my sister-in-law invites her other friends from AA. So my in-laws summer BBQ's typically involve 20-30 people I have never met before whose families didn't want them over for the 4th of July and they…

You're hypothetical makes no sense though. Who on earth is going to say, "I have no interest in seeing the Mona Lisa. Mona Lisa is for Lame-O's! HEY! WAIT! Look a Monsanto sticker! I want to go see it!"

Why would anybody go see a picture of the Mona Lisa because a Monsanto picture was on it? Why would that entice people to see the Mona Lisa? Are people attracted to Monsanto stickers?

What on Earth are you talking about?

And even once I realized it was the same song, I didn't change it. I kept it on for another 20 minutes.

In an effort to maintain uniformity and consistency while shoveling the snow, the Bills are asking all volunteers to push it wide right.

Of course it is a Foo Fighters promotional piece. It's on HBO. HBO is not going to give time to air a documentary about Naked Raygun. If they advertise it as a show about Naked Raygun, the only people watching it will be Naked Raygun fans. But if they advertise it as a show about the Foo Fighters, a heckuva lot…

My favorite memory of Kyuss was listening to them on my headphones once while riding my bicycle. It took me an hour and 15 minutes to realize I had one song on repeat. I was just rocking out that much.

Yea, but it was against the Bears.

It's an entertaining show. Nothing groundbreaking.

In Philadelphia, it's really common to have Allen Iverson elbow his way into your pictures. Particularly in photo booths. He says he does it because that is where he lives now.

Whenever they post these twitter things, I spend the whole time trying to figure out who said what.

You cats are burying the lede here in regards to Notre Dame losing to Northwestern.

It's the throwaway lines that have held up better than the scenes that were supposed to be memorable. I can't tell you how many times I have arrived at a destination that is disappointing and said, "That John Denver is full of shit." Or lines like "His head fell off".