Conversely, "Jesus loves you!" is the quickest way to get anybody to stop talking to you anywhere.

• Anyone in Philadelphia.

Good point. Ottawa's team gets by with a name that I consider one of the most offensive things you can call a person.

It was probably with the help of their new ace pitcher, Adam Widewright.

Exactly. Based on his logic, that would make Rick Moranis a douche.

I spent a few years working as a prison guard just outside of Philadelphia. Although, there could be regional differences, but to me, it's pretty obvious. Based on his tattoos, I can easily tell that Aaron Hernandez will never get a job at a bank.

Jim Joyce's blown call denied her of a purrfect game.

When asked to comment, Tara simply stated, "We want a belly scratcher, not a catcher!

Yea, I totally don't know how these guys are expected to play football when all of their moves are filmed by a multitude of cameras and recorded by various microphones.

Fact: Half of the NHL teams features on 24/7 have lost the big game they were preparing for!.

The sent him a letter?

How were we supposed to know it was fake? Sentences like this seem like pretty good tells:

You can't attribute a 4 game series sweep to luck. The Bruins outscored Pittsburgh 12-2 in the series. If the a few bounces go Pittsburgh's way, maybe the Bruins still win the series 4-1 or 4-2. The Canadiens won the season series against the Bruins. They know how to beat the Bruins. The Canadiens were the…

I'm not sure what's more pathetic; that you don't know how to use Word Count in 2014 or that you admitted that you don't know how to use Word Count in 2014

You're right. That was amazing how the Penguins managed to win a Cup after relocating back to Pittsburgh a few years ago.

1,442 words to state what every Flyers fan can say in 3:

Last night, Lincecum struck out 11 Braves in seven-and-two-thirds,

"Hey, kid! Put down your Gameboy. Pay attention to this. Now leave the room because I don't want you watching it!"

How do I explain to my children that watching the 7th round of the NFL draft on a sunny Saturday afternoon in spring is fun?

You forgot the absolute worst part of the 1998 Godzilla: when my bike got stolen during it.