I couldn’t stop myself. I’ve created a monster. Except the real monster was man the whole time.

I think you’re barking up the wrong tree, here. I’ve never seen Kotaku using a gender-neutral singular “they” except for hypothetical/unknown people referred to rhetorically — which is standard writing practice — or for people they are covering in a piece who specifically prefer the use of the “they” pronoun. I’ve only…

No they shouldn’t release a lavender Switch Lite because I’M NOT BUYING ANOTHER ONE DAMMIT. (Mint green would also be lovely. Let’s just get all the Easter M&Ms colors at this rate.)

Jay-Z would say it’s mauve.

The Lite is amazing. If you like handhelds, it’s the best handheld ever made. My only complaint is that the controls can feel crampy after several hours of play, but that’s typical of pretty much any handheld and the JoyCons in general. Playing tabletop using a pro controller isn’t really an option since the screen…

Are you guys gonna leverage every single FFVII art asset from now until April to pump out content? Incoming article about the font in 3....2....

“doing so would potentially open the door to players manipulating the game’s internal calendar”

Ummm, fucking so? I had the clock in New Leaf set 12 hours behind the system clock for my 2DS so that I wouldn’t be playing at night when all the villagers were asleep and the shops were closed. Having a “Night Owl” village…

For all the shit Sarkeesian got, things like “Mrs. Pac-Man” syndrome ring so very true, and you’ve just pointed out a great counter-example in Kazooie. I was just thinking about the issue of “girl” being a major character trait in the (mediocre) animated movie “Spies in Disguise,” which had an interesting pigeon…

Did he know all of our uncles?

I don’t want any game to be more like Gears of War, least of all Diablo. I look forward to feeling like all weapons are doing the damage equivalent of a particularly dull butter knife in the near future.

A lot of these explanations just sound like code for: “We think our players are impatient, dumb children or the adult equivalent.”

Good mike technique says you back the fuck away from the mike when you yell so that you can maintain the same levels and not have to fuck with the engineering mid-sentence. They could use better mikes and PAs, though, for the most part.

I didn’t realize this was a Game Gear game until the really tinny blippy music started and the text to announce round 1 filled the entire screen. I was like “Man this looks shitty for a Genesis game”

Those extra 0.6 inches of front row headroom jumping from the Fit to the Pilot really help out, eh? That’s nearly 3 extra feet of overall length and 1,500 lbs of girth just to provide a modicum of comfort inside. You need an SUV like you needed a North Face jacket in high school to “keep warm.”

I wish I had enough disposable cash to be able to justify spending $72 on minis

Not a fan of this animation style. Looks like that gawdawful X-Men: Evolution show where the weight of everyone’s jaw drags them towards sculliosis.

I just got a Switch Lite so there’s no way in hell that I’m getting that shit.

Fuck this game! You can’t slide pieces in any direction while they fall, so you’re inevitably going to get huge blocked gaps with any placement. Got a Z-piece? Well you’re shit out of luck on 50% of the board! I

I’m chomping at the bit to give them my money, if an n=1 study is any source of compelling data for you :D Can’t wait for this damn game to release.

I wonder since this is LED-based if they could potentially issue a “hot fix” patch that gives the LEDs new instructions via the car’s telematics port or at very least through a manual upload at a dealership. It’d be an interesting milestone for where we are in terms of technology, to say the least.