This x 1,000,000. I had an old boss who drank his with skim and 3 Splenda — now THAT is psychosis.

Hot coffee with a dash of skim milk is a sad, sad thing.

Oh no. I love my pretentious black coffee and genuinely enjoy it, but I also love sugar-laden vanilla lattes and Mexican mochas from time to time.

I think people who take their coffee with skim milk are the most mentally disturbed of all. That shit tastes like despair and starvation.

I take my coffee like I take my women. Ground up, Peruvian, and in the freez—

(I really thought I was going to come up empty handed on a search. But no... times 1,000)

So long, all the fish. And thanks!

Ocean acidification sounds like big old Momma Nature is trying to make us some ceviche!

My solution is simple.

So long and thanks for all the fish.

Well since ocean acidification is going cause mass fish extinction in the not so distant future, we may as well catch and eat all the fish we can now.

It’s still in there, the pages are just stuck together.

New Englanders put on so many airs, they couldn’t help but feature them in a museum.

So ... my takeaway is:

Fun fact, the Judge is right but only by a coincidence. The founding fathers always intended to write that protection into the constitution but then John Adams started looking at Button Gwinnett in that way and then the whole meeting turned into this 8 way Daisy-Chain with pantaloons and bi-focals strewn about…

It’s sad that the frequency of mass shootings has created this tradition among hospitals. No one is criticing the solidarity or camaraderie.

I cry over pizza all the time. Especially as I eat it over the sink while drinking a handle of bourbon straight from the bottle.

I NEVER THOUGHT PAYING IT FORWARD PIZZA WOULD MAKE ME CRY SAD TEARS BUT HERE I AM, CRYING. OVER PIZZA GENEROSITY, THE KINDEST GENEROSITY OF ALL.

I want Mark to write a book that outsells her inevitable book.