This was great. Also lead me to the GTA V one, which was also great. 

Imagine Desperados: Wanted Dead or Alive... in RDR2's RAGE engine.

“Aw, what a cute little camera trick for ki-”
-guy gets hanged in the background-
“NOPE. NOPENOPENOPENOPENOPE”

Ugh. Flashbacks to the amount of time I spent trying to shoot a basket in Deus Ex: Human Revolution. At least I finally got an achievement for it, even if it was literally the thing that made me stop hunting achievements.

this just gave me a huge flashback:

I will update this article in nine years when the final episode of Final Fantasy VII Remake is out.

Last Man Sitting

One could argue that Fahey is uniquely situated to be hung up on this particular issue. I mean if Fahey had been shot before... he’d probably have more to say about that particular trope too...

This just reminds me that someone was working on a game where everyone had guns, seated in office chairs, and you fire the guns to use the kickback to move, and I wonder what the hell happened to it.

I had an idea for a wheel chair based VR shooter. It would be played seated and movement would happen by gripping and moving the controllers next to the side of the chair. Movement would be naturally limited when using guns and the player would have to navigate obstacles like in a real wheel chair. It would probably…

That was hilarious. Thanks for the laugh.

I remember thinking when it happened, the level resolved and they gave him the suit, it was like “ok, that was wild as fuck. Somehow it works but this is the most absurd thing anyone’s ever gotten away with and it’s weird that they wasted it so early.”

Listen Mike, until you’re tasked with killing a bunch of Nazis from your wheelchair, how you can you really say you *know* it’s bullshit?

Considering B.J. grimly spits out bullets he’s been shot with and continues running and gunning, killing nazis, so that he doesn’t realize he’s actually paralyzed until he’s standing up doesn’t surprise me at all.

Ding ding! Came here for this.
We have established in previous canon, that this is apparently no hurdle for mister BJ. I took this section as a hilarious call-back to that in fact. You can’t slow the BJ down >_>. 

My problems begin within moments of B.J. waking up. First off, this is a man who has been in bed for five months. Following my aortic dissection in March of 2018, I woke up in a hospital bed in mid-April and could barely move my arms and fingers. It took a good month to restore a proper range of motion. B.J. hops to…

Good for you, now go grab your 50 cents, Wumao.

cry some more 

Somebody had to say it. It's obligatory.