Face it, 90%+ of them will be “Mall Crawlers”.

I didn’t know my father’s sister’s real name until her obit (but we’re not black).

I can neither confirm nor deny that I might have once been a dishwasher at a place where if you were an *sshole that your steak might be “bounced once for flavor”.

Holy crap. It was almost 35 years ago, but we got married for like $1200 all-in (dress, rings, ceremony, reception, etc).  Also, Superman’s Mom sang.

The word I’m thinking of is “beard”.

Where can I get the obviously awesome drugs you are taking?

IMO, 1967-69 was the peak of American automotive design. Mustang/Cougar, Cyclone, Camaro/Firebird, Corvette, Charger, ‘Cuda/Challenger, Chevelle, Superbee, Superbird/Daytona, GTO, etc all *gorgeous* in that period. And the GT40, plus a real Bronco to boot.

Safety is a big part of it. I look at the doors of my new F-150 and they seem darn close to a foot thick. My ‘89 Isuzu on the other hand seems about an inch (exaggerating of course, but there is a huge difference).  Add in the width of American asses and everybody wants a center console it seems, and boom, 7' wide.

A common mistake, he’s actually a sad wrinkly scrotum.

How does it tell an unwanted penis from a wanted penis?

And the reliability of a FIAT!

Biggest surprise, some woman let this troglodyte stick it in.

Sure there is, it’s called “Raptor”. (And, yes, I’m nearly sixty and still wear a t-shirt and jeans, just like in high school).

How much is the +50HP sticker option?

Right, but by the same measure, I wouldn’t judge all of state’s cuisine by that hot dog shaped object either.

That’s *gas* *station* pizza.

Yes, we do. I grew up in Norwalk (yes, home of Aquaman *and* Superman) and we ate at Smitty’s quite a lot (when it was in an even less reputable building closer to the airport). And I ate at Waveland Cafe a couple of times when golfing at the nearby golf course. I’m not sure I’ve ever had taco pizza from Casey’s, but…

Ford, warranty expenses. Yes, you cheap bastards finally coughed up a new transmission for my niece’s Focus. You deserve every ding you take for putting that complete P.O.S. in anyone’s car. Next time, listen to your engineers when they tell you your idea is stupid.

If you can accelerate between the apex and the exit, seems like you entered the corner too slowly and/or on the wrong line (assuming a constant radius curve of 90° or less).

Exactly.  I mean “The Rock” is almost 50.  None of us look as good as him.  BFD.