I need to meet this “Hooston”.

I don’t get why this is surprising. At all. Is it because every stereotype must be combated? But seriously think about it. Married couples are:

Were these people all the same age? Even without kids, your average 30-year-old's metabolism is shitter than a 20-year-old's metabolism, and most people aren't married at 20 years old.

I was always partial to Just Shoot Me

Obviously, there’s twice as many of them

YASSS!

Friends is THE WORST.

Paraphrasing here but, as Chris Rock explained, “all a relationship is is eating and fucking. If you don’t like eating with somebody and you don’t like fuckin em- than ya’ll don’t need to be together. All you do is talk eat and you fuck and you eat and you fuck and you eat and you fuck and you go to your momma’s house…

That is why the Happy Endings crew continue to be my imaginary friend group.

Cracked.com’s “After Hours” did it better:

I can think of one recently deceased German pilot that flushes your argument down the toilet.

Even John Calipari thinks the Kings have lost institutional control.

I know, I really need to stop hate reading this guy’s posts.

1. Her job is to teach early childhood education. And lack of professionalism IS a reason to be fired because if she was working as a teacher in a kindergarten, you bet that parents would be calling for her to be fired.

Citing “freedom of speech” when you have to face consequences for the things you say is. Freedom of speech does not mean that you can say whatever the fuck you want at any time, and no one can disagree with you or decide that they don’t want to associate with you based on it.

Anna, these 'jokes' might seem tame to you, but maybe some students were offended and uncomfortable? What if it was a male professor discussing the girlfriends of male students, and their lack of giving blowjobs? What does 'early childhood education' have to do with female students and sex with their boyfriends?

I mean, he’s not wrong.

Conan’s already a better coach than Pete Carroll.

Gutsiest move I ever saw, man....

If you are traveling in a group that cannot be separated, organize the fuck out of your damn selves before you board and don’t expect the rest of us to rearrange our seating for you! Pick your seats when you buy them, and if something about the flight changes, get on the damn phone to the airline and make sure you’re…