Football gods LOVE the hot takes.

As a Seattleite and lifelong supporter of shit teams and runners-up, it's weird to see firsthand how a team's success (e.g. Pats, Steelers, and now Seahawks) attracts every awful human being within 100 miles to become detestable superfans. The only logical way to respond is to become totally dispassionate in my…

Dude. Garrett. Wear a helmet for the same reason you wear a condom. Either way, the consequences of not being protected will suck up all your time, money, and energy, and will age you prematurely.

SERIOUSLY. YES.

This is not being appreciated enough.

One has to respect the origins of the art to fully appreciate 300

I think you meant:

This comment was my favorite thing on the internet today.

I love this man so, so much. Thanks for posting this.
If you're not laughing with Marshawn here, I'm laughing at you.

Yeah.

Yeah.

The swishing of the scarves is a little too affected for me. Oh, right. Portland.

The Sounders usually have a conductor leading the 35-55k attendees in singing the national anthem, which always always always beats any other rendition.

And that's where I'm gonna stop reading, because lion adoption leaves a much better mental feeling than the thing that this article was about that I have already suppressed the memory of.

What is going on with Deion's face and head? That's some weirdness, right? Was the rest of his forehead surgically removed?

And a quick search at splcenter.org shows this particular piece of awesome information to have been pulled out of...thin air?

Ha ha ha ha!

You've got FAR too much time on your hands. Go play outside.

Yeah, journalist. Now go fetch us some tea, and next time really make sure I understand the world before I expose my massive ignorance of it and make a total fool of myself.

Wow, that is tremendous.