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Are you happy when you’re with him? I have the same issues, and it took me a long time to let myself believe that my gf was kind and good to me simply because she was a kind and good person who loved me, not because of any outside reasons. Now I'm the happiest I've ever been, and I've let her love into my life, and

I went to Scotland for two weeks and came back with a slight brogue.

I am only exposed to Brits 40 hours a week and it is incredibly hard to resist some of it rubbing off, *especially* the “DID you?”/“IS it?”/“IS she?”/“IS he?” chirpy auto-response. I can only imagine what it’s like for MM being aroumd them, and only them, 24/7. Give the girl a break!

Every time i think about his disrespect to those code breakers in front of his beloved Andrew Jackson portrait I feel such rage.  

Many good conversations with North Korea-it is going well! In the meantime, no Rocket Launches or Nuclear Testing in 8 months. All of Asia is thrilled. 

“Harley customers are not happy with their move - sales are down 7% in 2017.”

Kaep’s red jersey?!! That’s brilliant.

I’m a giant cynic and hater but

Don’t you agree that his tweets have gotten even more rabid, unhinged, and bullying over the last few months? Either “President” Trump has deteriorated mentally or he is feeling the pressure of the many investigations and lawsuits, or both.

Maybe if he hugged Melania that passionately like he hugs the flag, she would live with him...

Isaiah Mustafa is the guy from the “I’m on a horse” Old Spice commercial.

YEP! I mean, this is an epic “You had ONE job...”

“There will be no funeral, no repast, everyone get the hell out of my church” MY. CHURCH. This strike anyone else as hugely fucked up? 

Congrats! You’ll love it! Having your own space to do whatever you want with it is really fun. Having to pay when stuff breaks is less so, but it’s worth it IMO.

I remember when I used to have peppers in my garden. I put that shit on everything. Also, there’s this random stalk of corn in my garden. HOW???

A lemon plant I’ve nurtured from a seed. The most important thing is to fertilize every 2 weeks from March to September and keep her away from frost throughout the winter. Fingers crossed she survives. I’ve called her Lucy.

Hey from the beautiful Pocono mountains, kitty cats! I had my facelift on Wednesday, and The Bartender and I have been holed up in a hotel, and we have been drinking wine, watching movies, and ordering room service. I’m skipping the prescribed painkillers, bc I don’t need them. I’m super bruised up and swollen, but

Stress is going to eat a hole in my stomach, and I had what was quite possibly the most embarrassing moment of my entire life yesterday.

most of those are completely unhinged
(in a basement and/or van)