I am the imp of the diamond. I am the chief trickster of swingball. I will fool the men in the pressed slacks and bend their mind with my foibles. Look over here at what I have in this hand, Rule King. Oh no, friend. It was what I had over here in this hand, the one I didn’t want you to spy with your pig’s eyes, that…

NFL: you abused the sacred ball and we will flatten you with our justice hammer

Too old to read these comments about how everyone is “too old” in their early fucking twenties.

is this satire

if I was rich, I would give you a book deal. You are a delight and a credit to your people.

We need this tornado of granite fists and shattered emotions inside of our sweat lodge. We must keep our players on their toes. I want this maniac to punch everyone’s lights out until someone stops his thunder fist in mid swing by gently whispering “No more, for I am the leadership king and my plan is to win the…

Player: Hello Coach Chip, how are you today?

How are any of your deranged rantings ever left in the gray?
Fixed.

Reboot the series. Get younger actors to play the dinosaurs. Jaden Smith as - Raptor 1. Something probably called Tryndyn Willowmere as Spitting Dinosaur. That girl from the WB shows, Kayden Snips or maybe Gretchel Barrytop as the Tyrannosaurus. Are there more Gyllenhaals? Call the Gyllenhaals. Reboot the reboot. Have…

I thought the rule was you had reveal the magician by burying the pea in the flank of a swing man after you’ve been issued a physical challenge. Clear physical challenge here and, honestly, I was pretty sure Yelich was the designated magician. That wasn’t the case, but hindsight is 50/50. Reveal the magician with a…

You’re too goddamn good at this.

I don’t know what any of your posts mean, BUT I LIKE THEM.

It’s not even all that hard. You formulate 4 consecutive swatch sets on alternating weeks, making sure to bifurcate your clam ratio. He probably just starts out with a full set of Scuba Dips, heck he might even chain the algebra for extra resistance. I just don’t know. I’ll bet he goes hard on the pump deck to get the…

I had to disclose that the Football Man destroyed his prized finger. The finger had been previously soaring up the list of potential republican presidential nominees and was a very public finger. I rappelled into the sick bay and snatched the Football Man’s records before he could tackle me with his muscle-thickened…

Go to the pan store and purchase an iron pan. Sew all of your clothes together into a vast, rumpled “rug” and approximate the central axis of your home using a protractor. Set the rug on the axis and never let the pan get cooler than 400 degrees by imprisoning it in the oven forever. Done. Now you’re nestin’.

You know, I sort of hope that there are people prowling the Internet ready to defend the sacred name of Andrew Jackson. Best of luck if/when they arrive. I will say that if the argument of whether or not he had a really good head of hair comes up, you should concede and shift the discussion. Dude was coiffed.

i love you

I express many thanks for awarding of American Cup of Hockey Award and am blessed for being straddled by the thighs of Chicago. Beneath the cheese I will glaze the ham, as was the old way.

They should establish a triumvirate. Each man will perch delicately on that lady’s probably pretty nice shoulders and they will plop sugary treats into her really pretty good looking lips and they will braid her hair with their tiny shrunken hands. On her command, the men will do the stuff that the lady from Game of…

i am big fan of sports america. great game to you all and i like the styles of your athletics. fast players with big muscles different than my countries where players are tall but not muscles. i really prefer players with the muscles.