[Vampires breathe sighs of relief]

Again. Embarasses America again.

I think today you became the Angriest Geek.

Show of hands: who now wants to see a picture of this agent?

“Dragons to the east of me, Snow and walkers to the north. Here I am stuck in the middle with you...”

Shhhhh...

I’m really enjoying my Fyre Festival experience.

As a fake internet attorney, let me preemptively address the knotty legal arguments from those who would ask “What about his right to free speech?”: Shut the fuck up you fucking idiot

“Child’s. In the infirmary. With the flamethrower.”

Don’t play with anyone that speaks Norwegian. Game’s over before it even really starts.

Even then, there are some that would be like, “just because he was lynched and is black, doesn’t mean he was lynched because he’s black. I don’t even see color so I didn’t realize it was a black man until you pointed it out”

Is this not the typical white guy reaction though? In general white people cant accept that racism is real until they see somebody hang a black person with their own eyes.

I have been to my fair share of baseball games in Oakland and San Francisco. Never have I heard the n-word thrown around. Especially loud enough for the goddamn center fielder to hear. Fuck that racist bullshit.

The most heartbreaking part about this whole saga is that it may have forced a mediocre white tech dude to admit that he can’t do everything. I mean, can you imagine the pathos of that moment, when he realized that his misguided bravado and the penis swinging between his legs just weren’t enough anymore?

your welcome....now about those Phillies fans.

Only sort of related: the wife and I took the kids down to this game from NYC. Nats fans are unreal. Without exception, every fan and employee here has been friendly to us and nice to our kids, despite the four of us being decked out in blue and orange. And, when Syndergaard got hurt, there was polite applause and…

“I didn’t want to have tears in my eyes because people would swear I was crying because of the new president.”