Though i like your interpretation it’s really just a Chanel purse, with a flap..

Right? That’s what I zeroed in on, too. Also, wtf is a “flapbag” because it sounds like something that happens as you age, and it’s not pretty.

$391 — Easter bunny costume

What, you just follow a doctor around for awhile and through osmosis you become a doctor? What’s so hard about that?

A very important reminder that the (future) top doctor in our nation once made me pose with her blow-up doll on top of me. Would go back if covered by Kaiser.

Your mood of the day is like you’re laying across a bed of hot jagged rocks wearing only a sombrero and knee-high sandals?

It’s not just that the prices have skyrocketed, it’s that the quality has tanked. In college I would splurge on one of their cashmere v-necks a year and gradually built up a nice little collection that lasted most of a decade. Two of the last three sweaters I bought there arrived with holes in them. Also 98% of their…

Well, I'm a big Breaking Bad fan, so I've gotta differ there. I don't think Walter's complex arc was comparable to Gregory House, who never really grew.

Apparently you're having way better results than what I can get in my own backyard.

All I can say is THANK GOD it was the cheetah pit out of all the big cats. Cheetahs are the nicest of them...I remember going to the San Diego Zoo and they walked the cheetahs on leash among the visitors.

Yes, he should’ve said, “Hey, don’t dangle our child over a the cheetah pit!”

Do the Darwin Awards have some sort of Dishonorable Mention?

It is against gods natural law for a man to sit next to a woman! Please let me sit in this aluminum tube flying 5 miles up in the air at 500mph in peace!!

Get in kids!

Yep

Man, she has the “look” if I have ever seen it. Gone with the wind.

I have a 14-year old who is man big — 6’1”, 185 lbs. His brain, though, is still such a little guy at times. Ridiculous things come out of his mouth, and I’m all, “Aww, you’re so cute and dumb!” While I acknowledge that teenagers—even young ones—might catch the eye of some adults, 2 seconds of talking with them should…

Exactly, neither looks happy and sane.

“i am sexually attracted to children! lololol look at me!”