Have you tried telling them that if they were going down on a clit like the good lord intended they wouldn't have to spew such vile gender-based crap all the time?

My husband hates me because of Laundry Mountain.

Hey, I have a story! I was hit on by a 29 year old on a cruise ship when I was 15. He was an employee - I think a bartender. He pulled me aside in a dark corner of the ship and told me he liked my boobs. That's a verbatim quote, "I like your boobs." When he asked how old I was (at least he asked?), I told him. And he…

trying to justify a "friend's" behavior, are we?

13. Thirteen. THIRTEEN.

I'm only replying to because I, too, am in the grays and thus this doesn't count as approval of your gross justification for statutory rape that I'm going to go ahead and assume you've committed.

You, me and a lot of other people. If you google "Why is Guiliana Rancic famous", you get 4.3 million results.

I don't get the point of Giuliana. I just don't.

Giuliana should be the one getting the boot. But she has that entire network eating out of her hands. She must have some interesting videos of the E! executives with Ryan Seacrest because she's not funny, or particularly interesting.

After the babies were born, I'd sometimes forget about them—not in a leave-them-in-the-car way, but, like, when they'd wake me up at night I'd be confused for a few seconds. "What the fuck is that godawful noise? Oh, yeah... it's you. You're a thing."

It happened with all three kids. New babies are brain-fucks, man.

Hugh Grant is "annoying" and "grumpy," but very good at sex stuff.

Thanks, Oprah, for inflicting Dr. Phil on our national culture.

They seem grounded, all things considered.

That's... generally what the most successful models look like.

Yolanda is a smart woman.