A friend of ours once teased my husband for cutting up the pizza for me, and I was like “Am I supposed to sit here for half an hour and watch you guys eat pizza, or eat pizza while my hungry baby is crying?” He laughed, didn’t seem to think this was a reasonable question, but it was the most reasonable question.

Many homeless people have jobs. You know that, right? Housing has become unaffordable.

There is no piss, shit, or garbage anywhere near the lake. There are massive homeless encampments in other parts of town, and there is a serious need for garbage pickup around some of them, partly because people keep dropping off clothes in an effort to help them, when that may not be the kind of help they need. It…

Just going to point out that this is not a bad area of town, at all. However, it is an area that has historically been at least tolerant of the homeless population. I used to live nearby, and there are homeless people still there that I remember from twenty years ago, including one fellow who is a dead ringer for Kris…

My husband didn’t feed me, but he would bring me pizza cut into little tiny bites, because it’s hard to eat a whole slice of pizza when one arm is full of baby.

Well, he’s a celebrity now.

RIP Merritt Bakery.

I lived in that neighborhood 20 years ago. It’s changed a lot. As in I used to be able to afford to live there.

That’s your takeaway? Don’t paint us all with the same brush? THIS GUY JUST TOLD YOU THAT HE WAS HOMELESS AS A KID. Way to prove his point about white people being insane. Jesus.

Also, what does she care if he spends 5k on Amazon? She probably spends 5k on lunch or vagazzling.

It usually kicks in by sixteen, but you never know. He might figure out that people appreciate it when you smell good and put your dirty socks in the hamper. Or he’ll be the Oscar Madison of gay dudes. Time will tell!

“I apologize for calling you a feckless cunt. I should have called you an indolent cunt. I regret the error.”

We were all hotter in 2014. Really, you should have seen me in 1992.

Fair. Maybe he’s escaping their bullshit. Hope so.

Give it another six months and you won’t be able to get him out of the shower. They figure out that girls like guys that smell good.

Maybe they consider themselves Adulthood Facilitators.

So, like the opposite of Jayden Smith?

She needs a Reality Consultant. Is that a thing?

I have a fifteen year old son. I just can’t with this shit. Sorry, Jada.

She really wants for you to learn how to do this.