Gaddamnit!!! Now you’ve got me fan-fictioning a world where david tracy is the 007 of shitboxes and junkyards!!!

::golf clap::

“... it would be an utterly idiotic, impractical endeavor.”

Steadying his massive elephant rifle against a well positioned rock, the ‘Housing and Zoning Inspector’ for Troy Michigan, calmly emptied his entire stockpile of high-powered ammunition into the engine block of the “Excursion” Jeep.

David to his city that is actively monitoring his hoopty count:

It’s one of those things that always gets overlooked, but holy shit does it look hard to build a car. From design to manufacturing, everything is complicated. Like, some dude (more likely a team) had to design, test, and build a machine to deliver a seat at exactly there right time to exactly the right place, and it…

Not gonna lie, I’d never heard of this show, and, upon reading the name here, initially thought HGTV had a reality show about two people running a Chicago addiction center.

I agree. Everything looks nice for the camera, but we really don’t know what cheap and fast materials lie beneath. My all time favorite home renovation show is still “This Old House.”

Could you please, please, please turn off the auto-play for embedded videos? If I don’t pause it quickly enough at the end of the video, it automatically brings me away from the article and to the page for whatever the next video that is queued up, which is very frustrating.

It always takes my brain a second to adjust when I see a GX 470 doing actual off-road duty. Intellectually, I know they’re built for it, but I have been conditioned to seeing them doing mall parking lot duties for so long, it’s weird seeing one out in the wild.

Possibly the best of the 3 movies...

According to a completely unverified source in the F-Type owners FB group, it was a manual F-Type S being delivered to a customer, the shipper left the car in gear, parking brake off when lowering the ramp and it rolled off. The car was “totaled due to frame, extensive exhaust, suspension and bumper damage”. They…

Wait, you’re telling me that the Tornado in my intake doesnt work? But there were so many commercials!

1/5 stars

“Before an attack, we carefully analyze your accountancy and determine how much you can pay based on your net income. You can ask all your questions in the chat before paying and our support will answer them.”

Oh good, You finally have the resident jeep engineer doing off road vehicle reviews. This makes sense. He should be writing more of these (like maybe his take on that new 4xe Wrangler that’s built on a platform he helped work on). Just thinking out loud.

Your mother was a Yugo, and your father smelled of starter fluid!

“I told them we’ve already got one”

After over 2000 miles in this thing, I can definitively say I will never buy a Jeep Grand Cherokee. It’s pretty much the opposite of what I want from a car. 

Honestly if Jalopnik turns into a site about insane people fixing ridiculous money holes I’m all in.