What do you think I’m doing while the coffee’s brewing?

I think the problem was that they didn’t make Superman a suave, British Superspy.

I think what you’re getting at is that we should be waking, baking, and coffee-making every morning.

Then let me just say: ewwwwww.

I’m not going after Pence; I’m going after you for disgracing the craft of trolling. I don’t know how it was on Disqus, but this is Kinja, bitch. Step your game up or delete your account.

Is it judged based on worst, or best, or worst of the best, or best of the worst? I’m confused.

Oh, Audrey Pence, the one who is not involved in the Pence book? Fuck off, dipshit. Don’t come into an article about master trolling with this weak shit. It’s insulting to the craft.

You know the word “floss” predates dental floss right?

Why? It’s a more accurate description of how it’s made.

Dick-growth pills, huh? Sorry, man.

Hope they weren’t kin!

Jesus, you gave them your DNA, too?

If you’re linking your real identity to Kinja, you’re safe. Not because of any privacy safeguards, but because no one uses Kinja.

11. Stop using Facebook.

Using mayo on elotes is a concession to the difficulty in finding real Mexican crema (which is like a thicker sour cream) in the states. If you can find crema use that instead. No eggy aftertase.

The real outrage is that they probably paid $25 for that jar at the concession stand.

Once they find out that he was making hand-crafted, artisanal pipe bombs, they’ll reframe him as being a typical weird, liberal Austinite/Austinito/Austiner/Austinx.  

Everyone decrying that this poor officer was charged with murder should just relax. They have an air-tight defense: They thought she was Black.

That’s standard forensics these days. Hell, they even used it on The Wire back when it was new. Chance are they also used the Stingray to track him down after finding out his cell number.