I’ve experienced people celebrating and enjoying Christmas in Egypt, Japan, Malaysia, and Thailand. No one hates Christmas like American Christians.

God damn it Zaphod! What in the zarking fardwarks?

It always seems like white collar crimes are very hard to prosecute and have rather lenient penalties when compared to ‘regular’ crimes... unless you commit one that pisses off a whole lot of rich people. Holmes gets 11 years, Bernie Madoff got 150 years - one of these crypto guys is probably going to be frozen in…

Is she the grandmother of Ruby Tuesday?

Nah its all about "Nowhere Dude" although my favorite album is obviously "Handgun"

“Ruby Sunday” is my favorite classic rock song. It’s right up there with “Rocky Rabbit” and "Lucy in the Sky with Emeralds."

I always love it when right wing trash pretends to be so far left that they think people are stupid for being appalled by hate speech. 

Say what you will about Seinfeld’s dating practices (and hoo boy, there sure is a lot to say there) but Jerry seems to have a decent head on his shoulders for most other things. I remember seeing a roundtable discussion a while back with him, Louis CK, Chris Rock, and maybe one other comedian. Rock gave Louis…

As someone clearly to *your* left, you need to go back to reading theory and drop this bullshit "boo hoo the left is why the fascists are coming" bullshit because no one is buying it

As if instead of telling jokes the comedian is simply giving an impassioned speech.

I just wish people would stop categorizing appropriate criticism as “censorship and penalties.”  

De Niro’s done some out-there stuff. Maybe if you ask nicely.

Look, I’m forward-thinking - I accept that people like her didn’t choose to celebrate christmas, and that they were just born that way. What I don’t understand is why they just have to be so flamboyant about it. Like, can’t you do your christmas stuff behind closed doors, and not throw it in all of our faces? I’m…

This is one of the strangest things I’ve ever seen.  

Can I watch?

Hey Candace!  Kiss my lesbian ass!

Good to see rich men who are unbothered by politics, speaking for a whole demographic, hasn’t gone out of style.

“I don’t believe that censorship and penalties are the way to end antisemitism or to not gain understanding,” Stewart shared. “I don’t believe in that. I think it’s the wrong way to approach it.”

“Why is this so hard for people to understand?? I love everyone, even the sinners who will go to Hell for all eternity, which is what my religion says will happen to the gays. Now give me your money!!” - Candace Cameron Bure, probably.

I don’t think it’s fitting to mention “Rocket Man” without also mentioning its most ineffable interpretation: