But don't you see, it's white women who need the MOST help in society.

Where was the magical and sassy problem solving negro when I needed her in my darkest moments! Oh, they were filming "Raining Men" music video? Can't blame em for that.

Good thing humanity is ending in the next 60-70 years so this travesty won't continue much longer.

Are you fucking kidding me, we'd be riding them like a monkey rides a pig!

Scientology - it is the same exact way they talk about psychiatry.

Not nearly amazing as

Because they're scientologists speaking in Scientology speak?

Sure, if you live in a place where people don't honk.

Also, I've just turned HappyUncle into Hulk Hogan during the NWO period.

Every Uncle has his Trans-Am, Brother.

I got an IM from a new dad who was over the moon that his daughter finally had taken to the bottle. I asked him what brand she drank so I could get a sixer for her. Silence.

All the things you mentioned are a team effort.

Have a barbell with plates on each side and just keep adding plates after each set until it's up to 505 lbs. I swear to god this would easily win the entire thing on presentation alone.

I'm everyone's brother, brother.

Since I'm always going to be HappyUncle, I wont have to make these tough decisions for children or put their entertainment and contentment ahead of mine. With that said, I think using WWE as a medium for educational is vastly under-rated. Eg: Raw is War. Did you know that Raw War is a palindrome? I already taught your…

I posit that nothing is worse than having to endure Caillou, not even the soft whimpering of your own flesh and blood.

I reckon people complain about commutes as much as anything else.

HappyUncle suggests a vasectomy instead.

HappyDad never was a Dad in the first place. He is in fact HappyUncle who tools around in his Firebird T Top while blasting Kickstart My Heart and handing out wit and witticisms like they were penny candy to all the nephews.

Listen Methdad...