Welcome to the lacrosse field, rookie. Rules are simple. 74 men in mesh shorts try to capture your egg with their nets. Any questions? No? Good. Just go sign up with Montana and Breshley at the Bud Light Lime stage and they’ll give you the organic pecan oil you’ll need for your uniform.

I’m convinced there is not a single mundane activity that cannot be rendered extremely bad-ass by the addition of a crowd of people hooting and hollering.

“Cam Newton threw the ball in a players face/chest. That’s almost always a penalty. Thats what he was flagged for not the “1st down point””

You’ll notice that the thing uniting all the players listed above is that they are talented and entertaining players

“That’s just not what we’re about,” Harbaugh said of the incident. “We’re a family. It’s a family atmosphere. We believe in having kids in the stands. That’s why we have cheerleaders, that’s why we have a band. It’s all about a family environment. That’s why we play the music that we play.”

The fight was over exactly how much Flacco looks like Bert from Sesame Street.

Even before he destroyed his friend’s bike, you could tell he’s an asshole.

Something’s Wrong with the Holodeck: The Series

Go to bed

We just have the one. It’s name is Jason.

What do you think snow is, genius?

Trust me, there’s no template designed for something this dumb.

The way the refs were helping the Jets move down the field, you could probably hang a TD or two on Seattle.

There’s actually more to the highway traffic protests than merely annoying people, but it’s not targeted enough.

What the fuck is this shit?

And that’s my favorite Mitch quote. Thanks for starring these, everybody. It’s been a lot of fun to honor these Cardinal losses by honoring a great comedic loss.

“I was at a bar, minding my own business. No one was talking to me... cause I had just did a show. This guy bumped into me, which is cool, but he didn’t apologize. He said ‘Move.’ And I thought that was rude, so I said, ‘Go to Hell.’ And then I started to run. He caught up with me. He had a mustache, a goatee, a pair…

Kids make bad decisions. Let's dump on him and call him a moron some more for this one, eh?