UNTRUE.
I can spend two hours in an Office Max just coveting things and not buying. Can I get an amen, fellow office supply fetishists? (Not a sexual fetish or anything. Okay, you guys can get an amen, too.)

Cute kitten, tho.

I miss my kitty. It's been almost two weeks now.

Somewhere in our youths or childhoods, we must have done something bad.

If someone had told me ten years ago that I would come to really like Pink, I would not have believed them. But now I do, I like her music, I like her voice, I like her style and I like her. Pink, you rock.

That's why enrolling in Clown College seemed like a good idea. Unfortunately, now all I have is a lousy BA in Being Annoying with a Minor in Creepiness. On the bright side, I am able to frighten small children with a single glance.

Shoes

FAKE! You just got Jimmy Kimmeled!

And I to your flattery!

Man, pregnancy aside, this reminds me that I should do more interesting things in my day to day life. A montage of my last 9 months would be like, "Watched some Netflix! Went to work! Went to work again! Got drunk! Did some laundry! Watched some more Netflix!"

I'll be honest. I was one of the 200 in line. (Actually, I was the one of the last three people in line). I waited over an hour to look at a cat.

They are a dream for me because I am constantly wanting to pin but not staple 2-34 pieces of paper and normal paper clips don't hold as well and get caught on EVERYTHING.

Fuck cream cheese.

Exactly. The institution of racism is more than just Paula Deen saying the n word.

Jeez, that's actually more depressing.

I discovered these in college, and they still make me swoon.

Jeebus, people are such assholes. I would NEVER think it's appropriate to ask those kinds of questions.

I'll give you Dr. Cornell West, but Giorgio is one "incident" away from a padded room and thorazine, which is totally cool, if that's what you're into.

OMG MY UTERUS!

The emoticons in that Katy Perry video seriously need to get the fuck off my lawn.