Yeah, well, you know who else never got much amplitude on his jumps?

+1,000,000,000,000 marks

It’s always been a fantasy of mine to fall for a beautiful grifter.

Honestly, this woman’s journey to the Winter Olympics pretty much represents my general approach to my career. Position myself for opportunity and don’t totally fuck up. And here I am in senior management despite not having any real skills or a particularly impressive work ethic.

Get this goulash outta here.

This fake Hungarian is nothing budapest to the real athletes.

Kinda like how we were talking about Rosie Ruiz in my Boston office last week.

The real story here is the commentators who try to take this seriously...

A year from now you probably won’t be able to name any of the medalists in the men’s or women’s event, but there’s a small chance you might remember her name (Probably not, but I’d bet higher chance than knowing any of the legit competitors).

I’m actually more impressed that she competed in that many competitions, and yet never got any better. That’s commitment to mediocrity.

A gold medal is a gold medal, but having announcers explain what the Swaney Statute is every two years, in sport after sport, is priceless.

That’s her gameplan: show up and stay upright.

It’s always been a fantasy of mine to fall for a beautiful grifter.

Is this a sex innuendo?

She may not have won a medal, but I’m guessing she might have a new rule named after her!

Is this really any worse than borrowing your friends skis and entering the Women’s Super-G just for fun?

Trynna get the whole pipe

I pointed out a few weeks ago the absolute truth in the saying “Showing up is 80% of success in life.” So the “staying upright” part must be the other 20%

Welp, I’m in love with this woman.

She’s just there to bone