Lewan posted a polygraph he says proves that he’s clean

Theoretically, he could come back in time for next season opener...BUT, he’ll be 30 years old and 2+ years removed from his last really interesting basketball. God...That would suck.  

Two lines from this WYTS that cement my everlasting allegiance to Drew:

That sounds like that other guy’s problem, let him worry about it.

Your new backup is failed Miami quarterbacking project Ryan Tannehill, who will absolutely start five games this season when the guy above him gets hit by a dude riding a contraband Bird scooter down the sidewalk.

I can’t wait for the Seattle Raisins You Thought Were Chocolate Chips!

i just learned that it is possible to feel deep personal empathy for boogie at the same time as i feel intense schadenfreude for the organization which employs him

Dibs on your liver.

This sucks. He’s pretty high up on the list of guys we never really got to appreciate because he was never on a good enough team/had the right teammates. 

Breast stroke is the best swimming and non-swimming stroke

Best swimming stroke? Hopefully the stroke Mitch McConnell suffers in the deepest part of the pool.

Definitely the Stranger.

A few years ago one of my cousins married a girl from Nashville. The night before the wedding - after driving around past old plantations all day - we go out for drinks on Broadway, and my only takeaway was that the women there were a perfect analogy to the city, the south, and frankly, the entire country: blonde…

Walking around you can tell it was definitely a very cool city at one time. But between every 2 bars with some good jazz playing were 18 abandoned buildings. Felt like a ghost town, which is definitely a bummer.

Can’t wait for that 11-6 victory over the Jags in week 17 to cement their playoff spo....oh shit the Bills and Jets won their games.

I drove from Indy for that week 17 game. It was glorious. The disappointment was delicious.

Let’s be honest, Brett — go ahead and get that tattoo. The fact you even considered it means your common sense has already been placed on the commissioner’s exempt list. 

This team is so forgettable that people forget to talk about how much of a bust their “franchise QB” has been.

The thing I got out of all of this is that I definitely want to see Yao Ming running routes in the NFL.

Please don’t go to Memphis, Drew. We almost lost you once already.