Does the CDC even know how people get pregnant?!?

That would be way easier to achieve if there was widespread access to affordable birth control.

First:

Plz take down this picture of me thnx

Dude. I drink until that stick I pee on tells me I’m pregnant. And even then? Wine happens, yo.

Don’t you have to drink, like, a LOT for this to happen? I was under the impression that a glass of wine or a beer here or there in your first trimester (and especially before you know you’re pregnant) probably wasn’t going to cause this to develop. I thought it was more sustained, heavy drinking all through the…

This is completely fucking ridiculous. Everyone always says, “There’s no known safe quantity of alcohol to drink during a pregnancy,” and that’s true because no pregnant woman wants to volunteer for a study to find out what the safe quantity is. Anecdotally, pregnant women drink alcohol all the time and have perfectly…

This untimely announcement from the CDC made me so, so angry. As a pregnant gal, I’m already worried about the Zika virus (Costa Rica vacation: cancelled). This made me feel as though the CDC is just piling onto the anxieties of an already panicking demographic. I’m not saying their concerns are not legitimate, but…

Also... don’t have sex unless you’re on birth control.

Excellent tag, but follow up question—if already pregnant, that is a form of birth control, right? As in, will not concieve babby in near future. So....

Almost every woman I know who has had a baby, planned and unplanned, drank and even did drugs and smoked unintentionally during their first few weeks and every single one of them has healthy children who don’t have FAS. It must say something about my friend group, but I seriously can't think of a single person I know…

Are you FUCKING KIDDING ME? Okay, I’m day drinking today. Whose with me?

You’ll have to pry the wineglass from Mrs. Stig’s cold, dead hands.

Then we draft the bears.

This is precisely why women can’t be SEALs. Their periods put the whole team at risk for a shark attack!

They're going to attract bears!

Just what we need, women menstruating all over our nice battlefields.

alternatively, get rid of selective service altogether. If a real emergency comes up, people will volunteer, and if not, there are places for those records anyway, such as the DMV.

As a woman, it is hard to argue for equality without agreeing that women should have to register. So bring it on. Give us the same rights and requirements as men.