Wait they had names and told him? #squirrelwhisperer

It's me. I am the Fendi squirrel.

Like Kelly said.

EW OH GOD

We had this fingers/baby-feet monstrosity. The closest thing we had to a “legend” surrounding it was the pervasive-but-generally-unspoken idea that it probably comes to life and drags itself around campus in the dark hours; it just seems like the sort of sinister thing that a statue like this would be capable of. We…

Despite his comments about at least two of his daughters (Tiffany here, the comments about Ivanka saying “If she weren’t my daughter...”), I actually don’t think he wants to have sex with his own children. Rather, I think he believes that the highest compliment you can give a woman is to call her fuckable. Which leads…

I’m strangely charmed.

I like it! Haha

They should see the sculptures at my campus. This is the “eternal student” and the university has its own legend about him. Everyone who walks through the pillars right under him will never finish heir studies. They will either drop out or study for one degree after another and never leave the university.

Also, just like a bunch of millenials to not recognize the opportunity to have some art that Delia Deetz from Beetlejuice would have killed for.

I don’t know if I’d protest it. But in the spirit of Jezebel’s Would U’s, I’d certainly fuck it.

Does it matter? When they’re underemployed in a decade’s worth of debt they’re going to wish they’d used their ridiculously expensive time at Columbia on literally anything else.

Oh the days in college when you had time to do things like this. Bless their hearts.

I like it. More importantly, I hate the students.

encouraging customers to interact with Starbucks roasters and baristas

And you people say the Midwest is unlivable.

More bananas for me!

Jordan’s culinary history is so WTF? he’s probably already eaten that sandwich. So, no.

1.That’s not a sandwich. That’s payback for whatever horrible thing you did in a past life. 2. No, Roseanne. No.

I’m not gonna lie: I love mayo. I’m not ashamed.

If you ever bring a banana and mayo sandwich near me, though, I’m going to throw you in a trunk with the “peas in guacamole” people and launch you all into the sun.