Is there a more old-timey candy than candy cigarettes?  Can you imagine the fit parents would throw today if these started popping back up in supermarket checkout lanes?

Why park in gear when I have a functioning Parking Brake?I only do that as an extra precaution when parked on steep terrain. But 99% of the time...why?

“If you can’t pronounce a menu item, it’s not making its way to Applebee’s menu,” Cywkinsi said

Jesus.. Picking your favorite Kardashian? That’s like saying my favorite STI is gonorrhea due to it being curable.

“I truly hope you realize how important setting goals are for young women, teaching them we have so much more to offer than just our bodies,” Moretz wrote.”

Slap Ya Momma is better than Tony’s, and you left off Herbes de Provence.

I use McCormick Lemon Herb Perfect Pinch to season old bread cubes for croutons. It pretty much goes with any greens-based salad I’ve used those croutons on.

without resorting to gendered slurs

Surprised no mention of William at the cantina......that was Sergio Leone level Western myth making, the brief silent montage in the middle, the rain, the excruciating tension, the explosive ending and then that wonderful aerial shot of riders on horses at full gallop across the plains.

I have been stuck in an elevator once. I was in Vegas and suddenly the elevator just stopped. I am at the front of the elevator. I looked at the weight capacity and without thinking I said “Ok, who lied about their weight?” The elevator then starts working properly. As I walk off the elevator I notice a sea of pink…

I can hazard some guesses, but I don’t know what to think in the case of Ariel. Mermaids understand something very different when they hear “Roe versus wade.”

The description somehow undersells the bizarre nature of the vagina subplot in The Godfather. Her whole arc is about how no man is satisfied with her cavernous vagina—except for Sonny Corleone, whose own freakish penis had never before encountered a woman who could handle it without agony.

When she says he’s “more handsome in person” it looks like she’s about to grab a knife and fork and eat him right up, y’all!!!

I was an impatient fool, fresh off the plane, drunk on Turkish coffee, and unaccustomed to seeing snow. I didn’t want to wait for a taxi at the official taxi line at my hotel, so I waved down a taxi off the street.

Jennifer Garner doesn’t get enough credit for playing the game. In one post she reminded people she’s single (on a night where she looked spectacular), promoted two of her projects, and showed that she can laugh at herself, making her super relatable. Ben Affleck never deserved her.

That was ba-yeah-yeah-yad.

Republican in the front, skinhead in the back.

Grabbed her by the pursey.

I’m very excited for the day when our generation is spending six figures on, like, a “third off the line” Honda Prelude SH at auction.

OH cmon, who has never put half an apple down on top of a urinal to sheath the trouser snake?