This is a big part of what’s wrong with theater movies these days. If I ever get stuck next to somebody eating a crunchy goddamned taco next to me in the dark, I’m going to have a drink accident.

Wait. Applebee’s and Live Free Or Die Hard was “the best?” I question your judgement on this....

1. (Out of the control of theaters) Fewer assholes checking their texts/taking to people on phones.

All I can say, from my ivory tower, surrounded by family that isn’t made of pure asshole, is this: 31 years is toolong to not have much of an inkling that your family are complete bastards.

Thanks Beth! I don’t have time right now to dive into this, but the lists of things will no doubt help me in the coming weeks. Happy New Year!

These are some tough ass brackets, Nick. Jesus wept: McCartney vs. Lennon, right off the bat? Both to the trash, I say. Also, Last Christmas is a Christmas Song in Name Only, a category which I will now call “CSINO” (pronounced “casino”) for the rest of my life.

Amen to that. Sometimes easier said than practiced, however.

Tidings of comfort and joy, inbound hot. Seriously, that’s tough. Best wishes for a speedy recovery for your kiddo.

I’m not sure that a ton of data is necessary to make this particular assumption, but your point is solid. If it does turn out to correlate to other risky behavior, then, sure, it would make a lot of sense.

You’re doing the Lord’s work.

“This Stick-on Biosensor ^[Is Designed to] Monitors Blood Sugar—No Needle Necessary ^[Pending Validation and Clinical Trials]”

Deagle Challenge?

The jail time is a bit crazy, but it might be time-served?

This is actually a good analogy - I was about to blast you for insinuating that a person who gets shitfaced and then gets behind the wheel has no culpability, but that’s not what you said.

I have $20 in my pocket right now to put towards your research. Please tell me how to help your idea come to fruition.

It’s most likely a balance struck against those who have ill-will towards stupidity. What she did was literally criminal, but it was not apparently committed with malice in mind. It was terminally stupid for her boyfriend, and the father of her children. She should be required to serve a sentence for the crime, but I…

“... having is not so pleasing a thing after all as wanting. It is not logical, but it is often true.”

Would have gotten my dollars.

Tell me about these BMW 5-series. Any decent E28s in there hiding out?

What do all those other pronouns... mean? They seem to follow some sort of pattern, but I’m damned if I can figured it out. Also: how are they pronounced in speech?