Sounds like someone listened to Skyfall, thought “I can do that”.

Or ‘The Something of Boris’.

Cast Will Smith instead of some Russian hackers and, oh, never mind.

It was a joke, but sure.

I don’t like sand. It’s coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere.

And now I don’t know which one to star.

Not sure I have the stomachs for it.

I thought it might at least be a sequel to ‘The River Wild’.

Sting does still look pretty sprightly for his age. Probably still has the underwear too.

They should have put this out for a public vote. Now what’s the Latin for Killy Mc Killface?

In other positive news that’s saved us from multiple A.V. Club stories on how it was robbed. 

Not even Schindler’s List was black and white. Entirely.

Oh no, he’s all elf.

To add to this:

As long as they call the final movie Knives Chau.

I assume they have a long attention span.

An agenda.

You go tell Ranker that!

As Picard would say... “Make it so”

In other unsettling news, Kirk Cameron s now the most famous Kirk alive.