That a movie with a story about waiting for someone to make a decision should lack drama is the biggest surprise of the millennium. It just seems like the whole movie’s going to be a holding pattern trying to build suspense for a person to make a decision. Then she makes it. “Should we publish this story?” for 100…

“Be like the headland against which the waves break and break: it stands firm, until presently the watery tumult around it subsides once more to rest. ‘How unlucky I am, that this should have happened to me!’ By no means; say rather, ‘How lucky I am, that it has left me with no bitterness; unshaken by the present,…

Since the Atlantic apparently has elementary school kids writing its articles now (or people with the acumen and world experience of elementary school kids anyway), they evidently don’t remember the 90's, but for those of us who do, we can remember when “algorithms” on Amazon.com were going to make wonderful…

I did this at my grandparents’ house. Then they moved. All my stuff got thrown in the trash.

Why is that insane? Everybody tells me that autonomous cars are soon to be a totally real thing that will revolutionize everything, and all you naysayers are gonna regret naysaying. The only problem I can see with Renault’s move is most people will be too drunk to watch TV while their cars drive them around.

“for reasons I can’t even begin to grasp”

I’ve long wished Tarantino would make an SF movie, but that always seemed like the one genre he had little interest in. I happen to love 70's and 80's SF movies, and you’d think there’d be stuff there that would be up his alley, like I thought he should make something in the vein of, e.g., “Barbarella” or “Galaxy of…

I guess we could beef up driver’s ed, but that would cost money and from what I hear we don’t have any. Probably better to spend a trillion dollars revamping all the roads in the country with fiber-optic shit.

What about the danger that two cars will try to simultaneously merge into the space in front of you, one from the right and one from the left, crashing into each other and then you crash into them? That’s why I always drive at least 90 mph, half a car length behind the car in front, increasing my speed as needed so…

When I read “once-beloved journalist,” my first thought was, “Jesus! Someone considered Glenn Thrush ‘beloved’?” But then it was just Charlie Rose. So thank you, reality, for not being as horrible as I imagined. There’s still a tiny distance between us and the very bottom of the abyss.

That doesn’t sound depressing at all, it sounds awesome. You’re in space, who cares what the food is like; you can eat good food on Earth any time you want. Are people turning down opportunities to be astronauts because it coincides with Thanksgiving? “I’d love to go into space, NASA, but I gotta go to Grandma’s…

Is it this look?

That’s good, because “objects” are almost always three dimensional.

Ironically (or something), the word rape appears in auroRAPErrinea’s name.

*Hour

Of course you should go, duh. But when I clicked on a link with the title “Introverted? Here’s How to Handle Office Happy House,” I was expected some tips in how to do that, not why I should.

“It’ll be like a subway, except instead of people inside, there’ll be cars! And each car will have a person inside!” If you wanna relieve congestion, Sudafed would do a better job than this.

We need smoother roads, yes; we don’t need roads polished to the smoothness of porcelain. Which is essentially what these guys are saying, that infrastructure needs to be built to unreasonably and perhaps unattainably high standards so that their product can work.

Yet somehow the government refuses to build in a weather control system to prevent it from raining, the lack of which is all that’s stopping my papier mache umbrella company from turning a profit. Why are they so anti-business??!!?!

Think of all the money we’ll save on paint! And we’ll be able to beat our orange traffic cones into plowshares or something! I think we can be very confident that trillions of dollars spent on improving roads to the point where no painted line in the whole country is ever faded or worn, no signal light malfunctions,…