My ten-year-old Mazda already has this. When I’m stopped at a light and it turns green but I’m too busy staring at my cell phone to notice, it alerts me with a honking sound coming from somewhere behind.

If those other guys need to create a masterpiece before they’d allowed to say it’s bad, doesn’t that also mean you need to create a masterpiece before you’re allowed to say it’s good?

What you’ll notice about these “fiscally conservative, socially liberal” conservatives, however, is that the fiscal part also comes first. That is, it is always the women, the poor, the gays, etc., who must sacrifice their interests—interests that the “FCSL” person ostensibly supports—so that the rich white guys can…

Like the author, I too “inherited” my conservative politics upon turning 18, and turned to liberalism in my mid- to late-twenties. In my case it was specifically because of things I learned in college, albeit not in the sense of being indoctrinated, because what did it was nothing explicitly political, and none of my…

Yes, but the Koran says you need annual WOF and smog inspections, so... sorry, pal.

That’s so weird, because it’s just like that time I stopped listening to Dark Side of the Moon, which was exactly the moment when everybody else needed to stop listening to it too! Dark Side of the Moon was cool up until that point, but afterward, only lamos liked it, whom I justifiably mocked. In fact, absolutely…

Maybe you go the other way. Instead of trying to purge the racist elements from NASCAR, you embrace them. You make NASCAR as big an emblem of neo-Confederate sentiment as the Stars and Bars. Talk constantly of the oppression NASCAR faces and how we need your support to remain viable in the face of Jew-controlled…

“I wish the next president was a conservative only because we had Obama for eight years and we need balance”

Yeah, but what if you made half a million dollars a day?