Just a heads up, Aguayo was a 2nd round pick, not a 1st rounder (shoutout to Seabass in Oakland). Still, trading up in the 2nd round for a kicker deserves a lot of ridicule.

Maybe do what Lauren posted earlier “Choose Hockey”

Armageddon made a goddamn mint.

Day After Tomorrow

Does Independence Day count as a disaster movie?

I delivered pizzas throughout college (99-03, Hungry Howie’s, Florida). My most interesting delivery story: I drove a baked sub over to a university apartment complex, and the place is of full of frat-like douches in visors. The total was $5.63 or something. The guy who ordered pulls out a five dollar bill and goes…

Obamacare sucks

San Andreas sucked. The Rock was a LA disaster guy who stole equipment to save his daugther in San Francisco. What a huge dick. He was basically the villian. 

But because nothing else in the song is ironic, having the last verse be ironic actually is ironic in itself. Oh wait, having a song about irony with none of the examples being ironic actually is ironic. So adding an ironic example to the song means that the lack of irony in the song disappears, so the song about…

“Tora! Tora! Tora!”. It was fantastic.

Ugh god the NFL sucks so much. That’s why tonight instead of watching football, I’m gonna watch the MLB Playoffs. I really think the Yankees are gonna crush the Indians. Wait...

The Poseidon Adventure?

I bet Papa John tips people in nickels.

I totally agree. Nothing important was ever said only using 140 characters...

The Orville is fine. It’s comfort food for those who long for the even TV lighting, straight camera angles, and less grimdark outlook of TNG. Sure, it may “star” Seth, but Adrianne Palicki is the first officer and she’s great, as is the rest of the cast....wait a second...

and now everyone’s covered in shit and yogurt

I can’t think of a single good thing to ever come from Twitter. Genuinely, nothing.

“Hello, I’m Jamie Lee Curtis. Like you, I’m appalled at the comments made and am glad that Dannon will no longer sponsor him. His comments were despicable and just plain wrong. After a few of these Activia’s, you’ll be running routes to the nearest bathroom to keep from messing yourself.”

church

Never tweet