We could, but it may be easier and more fun to just attack all Seahawks fans.

12th man hates 13th amendment.

“Unacceptable. They must just let any lowlife ex-athlete get in front of a camera over there.”

How could they leave out my Terrap-

Yeah man. FUCK YOUR FAMILY if the cubbies are playing.

Someone should of looked in there style guide. But for all intensive purposes, they could care less.

You can’t cheat if you can’t play the game.

Coming soon to a discount VHS bin near you: Child’s Play VII: Father of Chucky

I’m amazed at Mark Davis and his financial discipline. For decades, the man has apparently refused to shell out $20 for a mirror.

The Davis fellow is living proof that you should never—never ever—sleep with your barbers wife.

Here’s a thought: maybe wait until your broken game is no longer broken until you make it into an esport.

I don’t eat traditional wings because eating it off the bone weirds me the fuck out, but boneless wings are pretty much superior in every way! You get all the same great chicken taste and don’t have to eat like a savage beast, but you still have the option if you really want.

It explains the tears

I like Heineken. There, I said it.

I have an entire room for fucking. It’s called your mom’s bedroom! HIYO! Gimme me my stars.

Holland House: Come for the Fuck-Room, Leave because they serve Heineken.

Shit, that’s nothing. In Amsterdam, they have an entire sex district.

How is Trout unmarketable? He seems fun. Wore that dog’s mask for the Super Bowl.

Now that Spurs are out of the Champions League, they can get back to the more serious challenge of qualifying for the Champions League.

At that point, I think remembering to turn off your GoPro is probably the least important thing on your mind.