Smart people do stupid things all the time. What hope is there for slightly above average people like Carton?

Particularly solid counterpoint.

Goddamn, now that is funny. Well played, sir.

I hope every time his new cellmate pokes him in the culo he says, “Stubhub!”

You can convincingly apologize for an act of drunken stupidity. Multi-million dollar scams conducted over several years are not accidents or momentary lapses of reason. Tough to believe an apology from someone who has lived a lie for so long.

Man, I wish you weren’t right about that working for a bank statement. But it’s true, the best way to rob a bank is to own/work at one.

But, yeah. Even domestic abuse you can apologise your way out of, if you’re a slippery enough fuck.

...Or he got ratted out by his partners and he’s the one left holding the bag. The FBI only perp walks their real targets.

“People with money wouldn’t steal more money” is a bad take. We don’t know any of the evidence and details, so I’m not going to disagree with your point that he might be innocent. But arguing that he wouldn’t commit fraud because he wouldn’t jeopardize his position is silly.

I notice most prominent people are never in real trouble until they mess with other rich and powerful people (see: Bernie Madoff).

Yeah, when the FBI comes to arrest you, you’re in deep trouble. He’s finished.

Or be president.

He should have done something less serious, like beaten the shit out of his partner or pulled a gun out on someone trying to buy school supplies at Walmart.

As a former Boomer and Carton listener and longtime Deadspin reader, I can confirm that Carton also stole half of his on air conversation topics directly from this site without ever giving credit. I used to enjoy the show on my morning commute but him and Boomer have devolved into a couple of race-baiting trolls. …

Strange, I felt schadenfreude.

KKKeebler Elf

Some of us think he looks like the Keebler elf who took the short bus to school.

Never got to see a KKK rally on TV before. Oh for all the people out there telling me & others it’s wrong to paint all Trump voters as racist pigs who don’t see anyone non white as being equal to them you can officially as of today Shut the fuck up forever. Here is the deal America, you now have a clear choice. Either…

Am I the only one who thinks that this dude looks like Elmer Fudd ?

“As Attorney General, it’s my duty to uphold the laws of the United States, and to do that, sometimes it means arbitrarily changing those same laws to conform to my repugnant worldview.”