This is disappointing but totally expected. As an arcade rat from the 80s I had great hopes. As someone who has seen Adam Sandler "act" I had very low expectations.

Which band’s fans are furthest from that band’s image?

And now my non-wiener life has been validated. You are a god among men.

In all seriousness how did I never see this before. I feel like I've been lied to my whole life. Thank you for opening my eyes. I agree and I am not a wiener.

Every time I see that GIF I think it is playing in reverse. It is the most awkward football play of all time. Thank you for not letting it die.

As a soccer idiot that also loves soccer but doesn’t know Spanish what was the blow penalty call?

In Soviet Russia, joke tells you!

Mine is “look at me”. She never looks at me, instead she keeps looking at whatever she was looking at and asks for twizzlers.

Ask your mother

I totally wanted a Mazda 5 but between poor crash test results and it’s impending demise I held off. I was hoping the Ford TC was going to be a winner but reliability looks shaky. We ended up with a Sienna.... I really hope that Toyota or somebody that actually knows how to build a reliable and safe car brings over…

Shathing sounds like something involving shitting in a bathtub, not bathing in a shower.

Egg rolls is and bbq pork is about the only thing my Chinese family puts it on. But never from those packages. You need to use the stuff they keep in the back of the house for the cooks.

Carrot Top?

So having sex with Ciara is a big deal because Jesus wouldn’t like it but wanting 25 million isn’t a problem? Hey there’s parts of the bible I like, and parts I don’t like.

I’m nobody and I’m giving you another star. You need all the stars.

Spiral cut dog is the best dog

My whole laundry room often smells like rotten eggs. Should I do a few empty cycles with white vinegar? I have a top loading HE if that matters.

Oh you said Nick Picks. I’ll just put this away.

-Brett Favre

I’m going to get this turbo as my new tatoo

Prince Fielder rounded third base is round