Getting pegged by Melania?

You’re a bad man.

You just made me sad.

I despise Martha Stewart, but Seth Rogan is the reason I am not watching this.

I am a germophobe who is familiar with proper food handling rules, so I realize that your gloved hands are no more sanitary than her hands if they’ve been properly washed. Your personal prejudices don’t affect reality.

They didn’t have any questions about my feelings on insanity.

The only way to really deal with the gunk under your nails is to superglue the nail to the nailbed. Your nails, for all your neurotic picking, are no more sanitary than Patti’s.

Your nail beds under your nails is where the bacteria hide out. Patti’s nails are just as sanitary as anyone else’s as long as she washes her hands properly.

I have eaten her pie, it was amazing.

I dropped off my ballot a couple weeks ago. I’m still pretty pumped.

We laugh and laugh as he ineffectually spends the last of his campaign funds on lawyers.

Bill was too busy bangin’ big girls to ever be bangin’ little girls. There’s nothing to the Epstein stuff.

Their names are a matter of public record.

‘Killian’s Red’

To be fair, RS and Erdely told the jury that their cutoff for sex tapes is 18, not five.

At least the burrito place is pretty good.

Fuck Belichick.

It’s more of a ‘wish him a bad case of the crabs’ thing for me.

I guess I just show up after you get starred by one of the cool kids.

Did you get greyed?