Your comment made me laugh so hard I choked on my own saliva

To be fair, sometimes we want people to jump DOWN a butt.

Start with that superhero epic "The Nazarene: Jesus vs. Romans", and work your way forward. Good luck!

Haley Atwell.

But see, we Americans LIKE being poor, fat, sick, and ignorant. It’s called FREEDOM! Don’t you DARE take away my guns, booze, or multiple chronic obesity-based illnesses whose treatment costs gets passed onto taxpayers anyway.

I think you know why. You damn well fucking know why we don’t have nice things in America.

Keep in mind, we’re comparing the Brit rail system to fuckin’ AMTRAK. The bar is kinda low :)

You got a taste of that awesome Oyster card, right? Did you like how, when you’re leaving the country, you can turn in the card and they’ll refund your leftover credits? Can you imagine that ever happening in the USA? And did you notice how the public workers in London/UK are generally NICE, pleasant, and seem to WANT…

Wait... why do you have to turn around to wipe properly?

Sounds like a priceless adventure, taking the time to smell the proverbial roses.

...I’d be running across the tops of the train cars, evading a murderer, until I drop down through a trapdoor into the plush chair of an elegant dining car, just as a steak is placed immediately in front of me.

Why do many of these basketball stars skip Leg Day?

I UNDERSTOOD THAT REFERENCE!

...sitting next to you and manipulating your penis

Why are we still piling on a dead person? They literally don’t care.

You must be fun at parties. At least the parties I attend. No worries, you’re in good company, haha

Agreed 100%. I would not have been surprised if the bloodthirsty Roman Centurions had just ignored Pontius Pilate, unbound JC from the pole, and skull-f*cked him just for sh*ts and giggles.

The very definition of “grooming”. Yikes.

You two should totally kiss.