You lost me at “I posted this the other day on Splinter.”

“Which bone is most likely to be infected with racism? Femur? Rib? Have medical professionals ever confirmed the existence of a racist bone?”

I was under the impression that we are how god plays video games.

But don’t worry, we’re quickly at work to decide just how bad of a loss this was for Democrats via the progressive angle.

The press should find out where he’s going to hold his next speech and hire a mural artist to paint a fire escape door on the wall.

The Law and Order for this is going to fucking suck.

It . . . does sound a bit heartless, yes.

John Stewart put it best: “It’s not so much the Republicans are playing chess and the Democrats are playing checkers, but the Republicans are playing chess, while the Democrats are in the nurses office because they glued their balls to their thigh.”

Rice is a shrewd choice for the only organization in America that tortures more people than the Bush administration.

“Gross”? Did the monocle fall from your eye when you tumbled onto your fainting couch, Lord Propersby?

Counterpoint: anyone who is past, say 12 years old at the most, who dresses up in anything is a god damn weirdo

Sorry, you’re actually on Clickhole.

Right? It’s the 5th highest grossing domestic R-rated movie of 2008 for Christ’s sake!

As long as they don’t spiral out of control.

And the (hopefully unlikely) rematch: Graft vs. Host.

If you gave the Chiefs an option every time whether to take that touchdown with however much time on the clock or for it to be incomplete and then the Chiefs can try to march the ball downfield more slowly, I think—now I’m no mind-reader, but I am pretty sure about this—I think they’re gonna take it *every time* and…

“FCC Hangs Blockbuster $37.5 Million Fine Over Robocaller Accused of Spoofing Real Numbers”

I sincerely hope that Jace and Kelsi find a way to work things out, because I’m truly curious what they would name their children.

Mayfield received a lot of criticism coming out of college for being arrogant and short.