Is Goodell even smart enough to be a whistleblower?

The damages are the unpaid rent and unless you have a good reason (Such as there were safety issues with the property that the landlord wasn’t addressing), the tenant will lose this case in court.

Doubtful unless your landlord is a really nice person. If you sign a 12 month lease, you are on the hook to pay all 12 months.

My opt out clauses have been less forgiving:

I went through the exact same living situation. I offered to cover 75% of the rent (vs 50%, we were splitting it) and 100% of the living expenses if she moved out. I think we were both happy with this, trying to tough it out living with an ex is not healthy.

60-day notification process for getting out of a lease early

Actually, I think the resemblance to Bizarro newman is spot on:

I have no idea how you could read that and think it was serious.

“Nasty” is all in your head.

Ever since I got a Serbian plumber to install the commando 450, I don’t have to scrub ANYTHING.

So the reasons you are pro-leg washing are:

So you are saying the primary reason for the increase in life expectancy is due to washing legs good? Because washing your legs is not going to stop infant mortality or preventing you from dying from an infection.

wait you pull hair out of the drain after EVERY shower you take?

Most showers have a (aptly named in this circumstande) P-trap installed the same way a kitchen sink or toilet is does. As the above seinfeld meme states, “It’s all pipes”

Clean: verifying that you scrubbed your legs

Does your rx plan allow for doomsday scripts? Most plans wouldn’t let you stock up on extra pills, even if it’s blood pressure meds.

yes

that’s a very specific grievance 

What is that huge white thing mounted to the ceiling above the toilet?

My Midwest college apartment was $1000 for 4 bedrooms, nothing fancy but the size and price were very reasonable. Not sure what you mean.