Fails at shade, but excels at thirst.

References to the Human Centipad need stars!

*whines* I don’t wanna read it. I figure somebody will speak up if the new ToS wants to use us for HumancentiPad experiments. I’m probably fine with everything else.

I am an atheist but I hope that there is a hell in situations like this, and I hope those fucking guards burn in it forever.

These motherfuckers are all a bunch of traitors.

They all have that face (except Tiffany, but I assume the “except Tiffany” part goes without saying in most things), but only Ivanka wears it without effort. The boy-men put it on like bad actors, and you can almost see their little hamster brains working overtime in photos: “I’m a complex man. A serious man. I…

*rides a Poor to stump on piggyback*

World’s worst Brawny ad.

Oh screw you. Those monorails in Ogdenville and North Haverbrook didn’t build themselves you know.

to quote the great deadspin (nee gawker) writer Ashley Feinberg:

I voted for Lrrr, of Omicron Persei 8.

I JUST WANT SOME GOOD OLD FASHIONED PETTY CELEB SHADE, YA KNOW?

I hate invoking Christopher Hitchens (his sexism always overshadows his goodpoints.) but his polemic against her is a rational send! Mostly because he gives no shits about looking bad.

For the record - mother teresa was a sadist who believed that the poor were meant to suffer in the name of Christ. She withheld pain medication to the most desperate to fulfill her own views of serving god. She also baptised the dying regardless of their religion or preferences, and accepted money from an embezzler.

There’s gold waiting for someone who can autotune these tweets on the regular...

Will Ferrell as W. or gtfo

Has anyone else tried snail moisturizers? I’ve been liberally smearing snail goop on my face for a month now and It. Is. Awesome. Ill never have perfect skin because I’m an inflammatory mess but things have been way better with snail goop.

Beauty Thread.

I’m having Pepsi Zero Sugar for dinner. My dinner will be sponsored by Pepsi Zero Sugar.